Owen: Oh, and that thunderstorm we listened to the other night? I was scared. Like five-year-old-girl-level scared. It’s electricity in the sky!
Sydney: Are the needles they use for permanent makeup painful?
Siri: Did you say, “Was Abraham Lincoln gay?”
Sydney: You’re hiring him because you want to see me happy.
Simon: When you say it out loud, it does sound evil.
Lauren: He’s either gonna marry you or bury your head under a bridge. Oh, I love beginnings.
Henry: I’m showing the house to potential buyers in about an hour. I was gonna get around to telling you, but it’s been a lot to deal with, and— and you don’t care anyway.
Shawn: Are you selling my room too?
Henry: Well, that’s usually how it goes, Shawn. Whole kit and caboodle. You know - garage, mud room, Shawn’s room.
Shawn: This is no good, Pop. I have stuff in that room. I don’t know what the hell it is, but it’s mine, it belongs to me. You can’t just hand them off to some weird family that’s gonna throw frilly sheets on my twin bed.