Jared: How do I look?
Peter: You look good.
Jared: Thank you.
Peter: How do I smell?
Jared: You smell like pot.
Peter: All right. Maintain.
Jared: You maintain.
Peter: You maintain.
Jared: I have too many buttons.
Peter: Ready?
Jared: I think I’m shrinking.
Peter: You are shrinking! Why are your pockets down there?! Going down.

Ellen: Sounds great. Wink, wink.

Ellen: Sounds great. Wink, wink.

Peter: Son of a bitch.

Peter: Son of a bitch.

Jared: Do you really not know you just mixed metaphors?
Peter: I believe in mixing metaphors. Keeps them fresh.

Stanton: Why do you think, then, you’re gonna be confirmed as a judge?
Damien: I don’t. No, I said, if you were listening closely, I said that you were looking at the next Superior Court judge for L.A. county, and that would be the honorable Rachel Rose King. ‘Cause I’m not getting this job because she screwed me…quite literally, on a table exactly like this. She cracked me open like a king crab, ‘cause that’s where the sweet meat is.

Damien: Okay, is this a test? Because the last time that I tried to kiss you, it didn’t go so…The walls are made of glass.
Rachel: I know. Hot, huh?

Jared: Search under hashtag “we don’t give a rat’s ass.”

Jared: Search under hashtag “we don’t give a rat’s ass.”

Karp: Hey, guys. Wow, you look stressed.
Franklin: You don’t. What’s going on?
Karp: Not much. You know, it’s a beautiful day. Gonna stretch my legs, maybe try one of those hot dogs with the bacon on them.
Bash: So…you’ve lost your mind?
Karp: Mnh-mnh. I found it…my friend.

Carmen: Okay, he’s hot.
                             - Franklin and Bash S02E10

Carmen: Okay, he’s hot.

                             - Franklin and Bash S02E10