Delilah: I know you and Tim are close.
Tony: We have showered together.
Delilah: Really?
Tony: I opened an envelope in this very room, and…
Delilah: I need your advice.
Tony: Oh. Well, I think he’s an all-in-one, body wash-shampoo combo kind of guy.

Abby: And somewhere the head of Leroy Jethro Gibbs explodes.

Abby: And somewhere the head of Leroy Jethro Gibbs explodes.

Delilah: I am out sick today. *coughs*

Delilah: I am out sick today. *coughs*

Partridge: That’s the beauty of the Internet. Anyone can be anything. Do anything.

McGee: Tony, what are you doing in the closet?
Tony: Finding myself. It’s for you. Excuse me.

Tony: What?

Tony: What?

Tony: Who put you in here?
Delilah: Are you alone, Tony?
Tony: In my own way.

Tony: I’m incapacitated.

Tony: Maybe some beads I can throw at women after they show me their…
McGee: Is that actually legal?
Tony: I don’t know. Sometimes rules are meant to be broken, Tim.

Bishop: I don’t get drunk.
Tony: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand what you said.